This Place of Mine
by yzelgos
Summary: On that fateful day there on the riverbed, I looked back towards what road had brought me there, then looked towards what the road ahead would bring me to. I winced when I glanced behind me, but knew what lay ahead made the road behind me worth it.


So I was brought back to that place of mine.

It seemed so far gone but so recent. Like I could just touch it from where I am now. And yet it's senior year and I still haven't gotten fully over it. You'd expect something as minor as this to fly far under the layman's radar, but it captivated me to a point that nothing else could abide my thoughts in such a way.

It was freshman year. Entrance exams were yesterday and orientation was on the horizon. I somehow managed my way into a neat high school tucked away from the rest of the mainstream but still well received in academia. The test threw me into gravel and kicked me down through each question it posed, and they just got harder and harder as the numbers on the left kept getting bigger. If the English section was just a bit more difficult, I'd be out on the street with nothing more than a middle school education. But I managed my way in regardless. Say all you want about hard work in study, effort, and turmoil, but it was practically brute force that led me there. Thus, as I sat down there in the fold-out chairs they provided in the gymnasium and gawked at the variety of students surrounding me, working day in and out to get the position they're in today, it felt like the victory was bittersweet. I had just a taste and it felt too sour. It must've been a miracle that I made it through the gauntlet that took so many others' seats in that orientation. The more I gazed into the sea of people, the sternness and levelheadedness in their eyes, the smaller I became in that moment. The words the principal spoke became a noise in what seemed like a crazed symphony of glances and stink-eyes, a mere drop in the tidal currents.

Perhaps I should've paid more attention.

My eyes shifted back and forth between the various classes presented on the board. I was looking for my name listed in the many there. The longer I looked, the more names looked to pop into existence on the page. After some effort, I saw it. Miniwa Tsumiki: Class 2-E. My name looked like it was printed in a slightly faded ink compared to every other name. Perhaps it was the lighting, or a hallucination. Maybe I caught something in that gymnasium that made my vision blurry. Surrounding it were two names. The one above mine was unclear, for whatever reason I just couldn't see it. Could've just been my eyes playing tricks on me, or I really didn't pay attention when I read it. Something about fragments. Likely, it was because there was another name there that caught my eye and wouldn't let go of my sight. Otonashi Io: Class 2-E. That name, Io- two characters to write something so short. It was cute. My immediate vision was a short and dainty person. Clumsy on some occasions, but was in general a good friend. Io, huh? I remember thinking to myself, "I'll see who this Io character is. We could be friends!" and being so confident then. I was always shy. Didn't matter with who, I just couldn't let the words leave my mouth. But something clicked with me. I didn't care who I was before. High school was a new me, a new way to present myself. I'm whoever I choose to be, and if I want to not be the 'too shy and quiet to be in the popular group but not entrenched in books enough to be with the literature nerds' girl, then I'd need to put my foot down then and decide what kind of person I wanted to be, starting with Io.

The bell sounded from the speakers set about the hallways. It was the first period in my new high school career. I walked past each of the classes in a somewhat confident strut. Here I was now, reinventing myself. I wasn't going to settle with the single 'friend' who I talk to only rarely during lunch. I wanted to be able to walk down the halls and have every other person I pass by give me a wave, maybe stop to chat if they felt up to it. I wanted to help out each and every one of my friends with whatever issue came to their minds. I wanted to come home and text a boyfriend for a night at karaoke. And I wasn't going to let my old self get in the way of my journey to being better. I opened the doors to the room and sat down in a desk; for today at least we didn't have a seating chart. In front of me sat two girls having a chat, passing the time needed for the period proper to start. To my left sat a figure of orange hair, two buns on opposite sides of her hair, bright blue eyes that could catch anyone's attention, and bangs just close enough to touch her eyebrows. To my right was another figure, this time a brunette with two blue bows in her hair. At first, I sat quietly, waiting for the teacher to come in just as everyone else was. In the middle of their conversation though, the brunette dropped her pencil onto the floor as she was twiddling it in her fingers. It dropped just close enough for me to grab it and offer it back.

"Oh, thanks! What's your name?" she asked. She was uppity, neat, and just in general lifting. Her very voice seemed to lift me out of the short moment of anxiety. I responded about as well as I could muster, so to say not very well, nothing to cheer on, "I'm Tsumiki. Tsumiki Miniwa. What about you?" in between a couple short stutters.

The orange-haired girl looked towards me and said, "Ah, are you shy?" The brunette took a bit of shock to it, "Hey! There's no need to bug her like that!" before giving a playful tap on her shoulder. "I'm Hime Haruno. 1st year here." The girl with the buns giggled, "Of course you're a 1st year, everyone in this class is!" They already seemed to be friends for a while, so in any other situation I wouldn't have felt comfortable enough to try and initiate conversation. But at this point I was ready to try anything. I was going to reinvent myself after all. "Well hello Hime. And who are you?", looking towards the girl with the buns. "Oh me? I'm Mayoi. Mayoi Katase. But I don't hesitate on many things, you can guarantee yourself of that!" she gave with a bubbly sense to her nature.

"So Hime and Mayoi then? It's nice to meet you."

Hime and Mayoi. The princess and her hesitations. Looking back on things, it seemed like such a tell. It couldn't have been clearer had it been in bold red lettering.

"And it's nice to meet you too, Tsumiki!", Mayoi said.

"Yeah", said Hime, "you seem nice! I hope we get along through the years!"

I looked at Mayoi and then to Hime, then back to Mayoi. I smiled. The first period didn't even start and I was already far better than I ever could have been in middle school.


End file.
